No words to speak
by Sethia
Summary: Oneshot. Zelloyd/Zelos x Lloyd. Deathfic. A struggle for words when watching the one who you hold dear to your heart pass away. Beware for extreme OOCness!


**Disclaimer:** - Not mine, unfortunately, or else Zelos would have been a LOT more obvious with his obvious love for Lloydie.

**Pairing:** - Zelloyd- Zelos Wilder x Lloyd Irving

**Warnings**: - Death, angst, OOCness! Also, I've not re-read through this to check for mistakes, so it might be very poorly written in terms of syntax and typos.

---No words to speak---

_What?_

Oh heck. This was not the way things were meant to have happened. No, in fact, this was the complete opposite of the way things were meant to have happened! This surely had to be a disgusting, horrible dream, and he was going to wake up at and second... right? Once his eyes opened, and he looked around, they would be sitting back at the inn, discussing their next decision, and when they finally got here again, things were going to go right, _right?_

Somehow, as much as Zelos wished that to be true, he had a gut feeling that it definitely wasn't _going_ to be true. That, and the hot liquid quickly bleeding in to his gloves, pants, vest and jacket was a dead giveaway too. Not to mention the man whose body that liquid belonged to.

"No... for Martel's sake, Lloyd, pull yourself together!"

Indeed, laying cradled in Zelos' arms, was a rather exhausted, weary and sticky Lloyd Irving. His eyes were open, only slightly; one would say half-lidded. He was gazing lazily up at Zelos, whom was quite an opposite painted picture from Lloyd. His own eyes were wide with shock and agitation, whilst his body shook violently, arms grasping tightly and desperately around the younger man. Next to the two crouched Raine, her staff held loosely over Lloyd's stomach, which seemed to be the cause of the sticky mess.

"Raine-" Zelos began, direly needing his questions answered at that time. He knew his healing magic, but that didn't mean he knew anything specific. He was silenced however with her glare, which caused him to flinch and withdraw.

Why the hell did this happen?! Things were finally going to work out right! After all of their issues of trust, Zelos sneaking off at night, the lies and the deception... and then getting over that, the feelings, the excitement, the friendship and... the love. So now, of all times, this could not happen! Zelos' mind was racing, feeding him millions of thoughts a minute, causing him to drift away from the world. He didn't want to be so lost when the man he loved was slowly bleeding his life away in his arms. He needed to be focused and stay strong for the both of them! But deep down... he knew he couldn't be. He couldn't sit calmly and know that Lloyd...

"How long?"

Zelos was quickly snapped out of his daydream by two things; the voice, and a soft hand on his cheek. He looked down at the hand firstly, seeing the same smiling face up at him. Smiling... heh, only Lloyd could still be smiling at a time like this, Zelos mused, He then recalled what Lloyd had asked, and looked up at Raine, presuming the question had been aimed at her.

Raine shook her head, finally pulling away her staff. "I'm sorry Lloyd, but I don't know," she said quietly, a sad smile across her lips. The wind tousled with both her hair and her jacket as she stood, and she turned her back on the two men. "...I really am sorry." Her voice was shaky, and she quickly separated herself from the two, shuffling over to the others, most of which were crying by now or at least tearing up.

That was only when it clicked in Zelos' mind. He looked down at Lloyd in horror, his eyes widening if even possible. All of this blood... of course. No matter what Raine did, even if she healed up the wound completely... Lloyd wouldn't be able to live off of such a small amount of blood. There had to be several pints of it already spilled around, and although Raine had managed to slow the flow down... it would probably only hold a few more minutes.

Wait, a few more minutes?!

"L-Lloyd!" Zelos exclaimed. A loud sob came from the small group a few meters away, probably a collection of the pity for Zelos and the tragedy. No... a few more minutes? Only a few more minutes? That wasn't possible! He and Lloyd... they had eternity in front of them! Lloyd... Lloyd couldn't disappear! If Lloyd died... Lloyd wouldn't move again, he wouldn't smile again, he wouldn't laugh again or cry again or... he wouldn't even feel warm when he would be held in Zelos' arms. Zelos suddenly felt the need to vomit, but he managed to keep it down, only just. "Oh G-god..." he stuttered, the realization hitting him full force. A black hole was beginning to form in Zelos' stomach, panic and worry hitting him full force. He wouldn't even see Lloyd again...

And still, Lloyd lay there smiling, looking up at Zelos and warm yet sad eyes.

"Zelos," he whispered, his voice hoarse, "I'm still here. For these next minutes, I'm still here. Stay focused." His gloved fingertips massaged soothingly at the older man's jaw line and neck, aiming to force him in to relaxation. "Look at me, Zelos."

The redhead spent a few seconds staring out at the black void surrounding the platform, indeed being soothed by the hand but maybe a little too much. When he drew himself to his senses, he quickly recalled their short time span, and his eyes immediately shot back down to Lloyd's, although his vision was pretty blurry by that point.

Before he could speak, however, Lloyd had began first.

"If I see you in the afterlife... before your time, Zelos Wilder, I will never forgive you for it," he said in a slightly sheepish way, trying to have fun as well as put his message across. For the first time since he had been in Zelos' arms, he glanced out at the void too, his smile dampening. "I guess I should have been a little more careful," he winced, the hand which had been clutching his wound slipping a little from a jolt of pain he felt there. He wouldn't deny it... he was terrified. After all of this had happened... Colette being the chosen meant to be sacrificed, his father almost dying thanks to the releasing of the seal of Origin, Zelos being kidnapped by Mithos and almost taken away from them... and in the end, he had been the one to lose his life. He didn't mind, though. Not one single bit. It had been a fair exchange; Mithos lay sprawled across the floor only meters away, Flamberge producing from his chest. They had exchanged finishing blows.

Noting the pained expression, Zelos only grasped tighter on to Lloyd. He shifted so that the brunette was in his lap, and he was nestling his head in Zelos' shoulder and neck. He had no words. He wouldn't say anything. He had nothing to say. How could he possibly say something to a dying man? His dying lover? He clutched tighter, letting out a strangled sob and a small frustrated cry, burrowing his own face in Lloyd's hair. It was pathetic; your lover dying in your arms and having nothing to say to them. But the warmth provided by just holding on to Lloyd at that moment, listening to both of their small sobs... he was getting absorbed in it. He almost forgot the world, until he realized that Lloyd's sobbing had stopped.

He quickly pulled back to look down at Lloyd, and the boy looked back up at him with warm and kind eyes. Again, he had so many things he wanted to say to him, but... nothing came to mind. Lloyd's hand raised much like earlier, cupping Zelos' cheek and rubbing gently over it with his thumb. "Don't make yourself suffer more than you need to," he whispered, and as he sensed his last few moments, he made that final effort to push himself up towards the other male, locking their lips in a very soft, very weak kiss.

Zelos could hardly remember anything after that moment.

He remembered Lloyd collapsing back down, his eyes closed and his body still. He noticed the grip on his arm lessen, and the people quickly crowding around. He saw very clearly the small smile upon Lloyd' lips as he finally closed his eyes. But somehow, he simply couldn't bring himself to acknowledge any of it.

Lloyd... Lloyd was gone.

Gone _forever_.

-----------------------------

Sloppy much?

This was a spur of the moment thing. Pretty much driven off of my feelings. And no, I'm not going to go and kill me a Lloyd. D: But I just needed to write. (Katie! Come backs! Look what your absence does to poor Lloyd! And Zelos!)

Well anyway, I know they're both OOC, but... I struggle with character involvement. (Ha, so why am I on ? I don't know, you answer me.) I don't mind you commenting on the fact that they're OOC but I'm not too bothered about changing it, so~ X3

Sorry if I hurt anyone. D:


End file.
